the return of the.... well post that ive been wanting to blog about!!
man its been almost 10 million years since i actually wanted to blog about what i wanted to blog about but could'nt because the f%%&*^ing page just vanished into the bad side of blogdom... neways this is wht i wanted to say..
couple of days (make that a million) ago...we were sitting around our lunch table at office..eating fcourse mah dahlings... and this colleague remarked that in most of the divorce cases that come up in the family courts, it is the woman who is the cause of it..... and what followed after that caused an extension of our lunch break by a one an a half hours..
This sparked off a debate about how women today are more independent and thus more arrogant. In the words of one of the guys ‘ they have let it get to their heads and they think that they can do whatever they wanna”. I mean gimme a break…these guys around me are ‘educated’ lawyers and such narrow mindedness is awesomely funny and ‘ u make me wanna punch ur eyes out’ angry!. According to this survey (it was published in the Hindu,,, Ive been trying to locate it but cudnt) these women are becoming intolerant and at the slightest problem, walk out of the marriage, and the poor men are left wanting. They also said that the man tries to keep the relationship intact, which the heartless woman says FO and walks away from…
I mean agreed that u cannot walk out of a marriage without giving it a worthwhile shot and trying to work things out…but if it does become so bad that u cant do crap…why stay in it?? Is that wht ‘culture’ is all about? Until now the woman was slogging her ass off and working and bearing with all the nonsense .. and now when she does have an outlet…when she can have her independence..why not?? Another colleague said something like the situation has changed now and men and women are now going out into the world and scaling new heights…and the man’s ego is not able to take this ‘sudden’ emancipation…and thus questions her actions…so when the woman gets angry at that…and they cant reconcile…she walks out. The same crap about how the man (in a particular case he was handling) tried his best to keep the marriage but could not, and that the woman , who was a software engineer and was earning a lot…and because of her ‘thimir’ (arrogance), asked for a divorce.
My personal opinion is that no one can and should judge the person sitting across the table. If a man does not have the balls to take in the fact that a woman can survive,,, he should ..well learn to accept that in due course of time… Lets face it..probably the man did not want to let his wife walk away because of the social stigma attached to it…or because he just needed some one who would cook, clean etc for him (am not saying thts always the case…I know men who are very broad – minded)..
Neways I don’t quite remember how the argument ended… considering it happened that long ago.Ok I’ll stop cribbing about the vanishing post mishap…
P.s. all comments and opinions on this blog are..well mine…so if u have a problem with it…comment!!
couple of days (make that a million) ago...we were sitting around our lunch table at office..eating fcourse mah dahlings... and this colleague remarked that in most of the divorce cases that come up in the family courts, it is the woman who is the cause of it..... and what followed after that caused an extension of our lunch break by a one an a half hours..
This sparked off a debate about how women today are more independent and thus more arrogant. In the words of one of the guys ‘ they have let it get to their heads and they think that they can do whatever they wanna”. I mean gimme a break…these guys around me are ‘educated’ lawyers and such narrow mindedness is awesomely funny and ‘ u make me wanna punch ur eyes out’ angry!. According to this survey (it was published in the Hindu,,, Ive been trying to locate it but cudnt) these women are becoming intolerant and at the slightest problem, walk out of the marriage, and the poor men are left wanting. They also said that the man tries to keep the relationship intact, which the heartless woman says FO and walks away from…
I mean agreed that u cannot walk out of a marriage without giving it a worthwhile shot and trying to work things out…but if it does become so bad that u cant do crap…why stay in it?? Is that wht ‘culture’ is all about? Until now the woman was slogging her ass off and working and bearing with all the nonsense .. and now when she does have an outlet…when she can have her independence..why not?? Another colleague said something like the situation has changed now and men and women are now going out into the world and scaling new heights…and the man’s ego is not able to take this ‘sudden’ emancipation…and thus questions her actions…so when the woman gets angry at that…and they cant reconcile…she walks out. The same crap about how the man (in a particular case he was handling) tried his best to keep the marriage but could not, and that the woman , who was a software engineer and was earning a lot…and because of her ‘thimir’ (arrogance), asked for a divorce.
My personal opinion is that no one can and should judge the person sitting across the table. If a man does not have the balls to take in the fact that a woman can survive,,, he should ..well learn to accept that in due course of time… Lets face it..probably the man did not want to let his wife walk away because of the social stigma attached to it…or because he just needed some one who would cook, clean etc for him (am not saying thts always the case…I know men who are very broad – minded)..
Neways I don’t quite remember how the argument ended… considering it happened that long ago.Ok I’ll stop cribbing about the vanishing post mishap…
P.s. all comments and opinions on this blog are..well mine…so if u have a problem with it…comment!!
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16 Comments:
thanks for the link mate.
gues i wont have to use @ fatty:)..no problemo!
Hi,
I agree with you. Nowadays, the woman in the marriage often comes in with an established career/job, good income, supportive friends and family. When things get rough and the couple is unable to work out their problems, the woman has more options and is able to make her own decisions because of the foundation she has. It may seem (to the men) that this makes the decision to leave easy for the woman, hence, the term arrogant, but I dont think going through a divorce is ever easy for any woman no matter how well off she may be.
@fresh ink - yea ultimately its best to sort out problems..and take the extreme step only if its unbearable
So tell me about the 'Broad Minded Men' sometime :)
'Dovorce' is one word that I have scaled across a lot because of a recent divorce of my uncle n aunt. In tht particular case, it is entirely the arrogance and the manipulative, gold digging wife syndrome. All cases are definitely not alike. The advocate told us that he now receives a lot of "divorce" petitions and all other civil cases are in the backseat. It is noted that women today have the confidence to walk out of a marriage without the taboo of society. Their parents back it up too. I do not like the way in which divorce happes. Call me traditional but you can't just say you don't get along with the other person. That is somethig that two people have to work on. Marriage is the hardest relationship to acheive and keep. If either of the partner is under severe trauma, be it mental or physical or either of them chaets on their spouse, then the grounds for appealiong for divorce is sane. Anyone, be it man or woman can't just decide he wants to walk out because its not happening as marriage creates so many other bonds, children, bonds families and we kill, brutally murder all the other bonds because we are less accomodating. Again, we is men and women. However, as women have become more independent, they don't see the need to sustain anything if it requires them to make more effort and learn to work out a way. They can walk out, they love being single and rich and marrying again or dating...divorce is hard only for those who never really want it. For those for whom ,marriage is the "exit" in a cinema hall when a scene that they dont like comes on, it's not hard. Again, i say this because I have seen 2 divorces. You had a smart post up here. Apologies if I said more than I should but again, its just my perspective and there is no right and wrong in perspectives. Do you want to divorce me coz you didnt like what i wrote and coz it is too lengthy?? :) Kidding!!! :) :)
@scribblez: hehe infact if i were a guy and if u were not married i wud marry u:P..kidding...naah i agree with u...u shudnt just go and split up just coz u think u cant "get along"...two ppl living under the same roof are bound to get at each others throats at some point or the other...
@jack - welcome jack..ur sucky blog doesnt really suck i must say...thank thank u i am a nice person:).. yeah ppl shudnt get in if they cant cope up..but where i live there is a sort of societal pressure u know..that a man and a woman shud be married at at a particular age...like if ur a 30 yr old woman and single... ppl wud be like "oh wonder whts wrong with her"...i guess ppl are opening up but ths the normal thing...so when ur pushed into something just bcoz of ur parents and family and stuff...u tend to wanna run out when u have the slightest problem..tht way u can tell u parents that u did marry at "the right tine" and their decision sucked!
We have to agree with you. Such language people use.
The concept of L.A.T has come up in US, where you have a special partner and commitment and all that but spend only weekends together.
Much fun! We say
I sure am glad we can stand on our own two feet...and don't have to depend on a man to 'take care' of us!
But as much as I believe women shouldn't be treated like doormats and need to hold their own, I also believe marriage is all about compromises and sacrifices and being ever so tolerant.
Now if only we could learn that from our parents generation...
@ confused - Hmm..wats L.A.T??tho as a concept it sounds cool:)..i guess thts wtas happening it double-income households today...in a way its good bcos u know u have someone and tht they will be there for u .. but they dont take up too much of ur space and u can actually look forward to spending time together..wat say!?
@ j - yeah woman! well said...we shud learn all the good stuff... i remember seeing my mom's cousins' somebody's somebody's grandad and grandmom...they were like always holding each other's hands and looking after each other..he used to comb her hair and stuff...was so sweet..and they too died within hours of each other's deaths..thts wat i call till death do us part!
hmm..nice post...kind of sums up today's situation..
men and women both need to come to terms with the ever rapidly changing roles of both sexes in society....now that men and women both are assuming the role of beadwinners...both will have to compromise on the home front as well..
and lets face i..women do it with much more ease than men!!!! and well..that's changing and we go along with the tide!!
Please allow me to link a few of your posts...
It is good that you stood for women's rights in office... but hat did it achieved...??? You said you were 79% times joked about... Now your actions made sure that you'll be seen as opinionated girl and people, especially males know your trigger point...
Yes males have egos... but don't women have egos too...??? Why women are walking out of any marriage is ego...there is no benchmarks to decide whether she was putting too much effort or not but marriage is a formal bond and breaking that deal is visible putting efforts is not... Infact men vs women fights are clash of egos...
just an unsolicited advice... next time do the disappear act at such clash of titan egos... master beast called as tongue and avoid making jokes at egos... You'll earn seconds of heartly satisfaction yet nothing more but hatred of fellows....
@chandni - yea i agree...but in a way i guess both the man and the woman will be able to do both...office and on the home front...tht way they will realise that the grass is not greener on the other side!.
@gk - hi gk..thanks for your advice...taken in good spirit..but what i meant by being made fun of was...tht ppl think i am a good sport..and they tease me..as in light hearted banter...how will that make me opiniated?!
and about ego..yea both men and women have egos..there are women who have caused a marriage to break..i was only talking about the reasons and wht men think about the women..
I maintain my position...there is a fine line that differentiates 'friend' and 'colleague' and certain things are just not done in a professional environment...however 'sporting' or 'done in good humour' it may be.
Regarding the incident and conversation in this particular post...well they are just opinions...'ego' cannot be allowed to run your marriage...I mean don't you need to get married o a partner who sees through you? 'Outlet', 'independence' are words that a man and a woman needs to deal with in their own space......'giving' is the only thing that's there in a marriage....it's where the 'I' stops...I'm not trying to talk ideals I'm trying to talk practical...the couple will have to see a 'We'...and not an 'I' if the relationship needs to last.
#reflextion - well said - We shud see it as "we":)...
Hi Why am I ~~ Thanks for your comments
about the post at Herons Nest.I meant
no disrespect for celebrations in India.
It is nice to meet you. Your posts look
interesting. I have had a divorcem that
I instigated many years ago.
Cheers, Merle.
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