Thisisme

of concerts and lost phones....

2007-06-28T09:59:00.000-07:00

So it happened and I was there!!,,,Yup...the Aerosmith concert!...super awesome I shud say!..tho they did not play crazy/janie's gotta gun/dude looks like a lady and it did start late and they did finish early...but heck am not complaining!.....heard a rumour tht Metallica's coming to India/...tht shud be, for want of a better word...fukking awesome!

I lost my phone coupla days ago and it suks:(...a W 700i and its a sexy phone:(...and now am faced with the dilemma of choosing a phone...wat to do! there are soooo maanyy choices out there that its absolutely impossible to choose one!..one has a good camera but not the sound quality sucks..one phone has a neat walkman thingy but memory card is not sufficient..one phone has ething but looks awful...another is super expensive....guessing i'll go for a Sony Ericsson coz am partial to them:)...its amazing but ive done so much of research on phones on the net and I dont get tired of it at all...

2007-04-10T06:19:00.000-07:00

i finallyyyy managed to get my nose pierced!!!! been wanting to do it for a reallyyy long time.. so one saturday one my way bak home, i just went to thsi place with a frnd of mine and got it done... fcourse there was the usual "should i do it should i not" dilemma but nevertheless..

and i was faced with the task of choosing my stud as they did not pierce with a ring(;() and i asked the people behind the counter, the man at the cash place, my friend, the piercer and his assistant if getting it pierced would pain (duh!)...and when they assured me that it wouldnt pain at all (yea rt!) i asked them if the pain is more than when its done by a gun ( i had two [piercings done by a gun shot which dont exist any more)...and they said its about the same except for the ringing in the head feeling.... and so i was led into the piercing room...almost pushed by my frnd who was getting a litttleeee irritated:)...after numerous "waittt lemme look at the needle" and "nooooooo it will pain" and "are u sure i should pierce my nose"...i had my nose pierced!!!!!!!!!!! tears streaming down my face (tht was becos of the piercing)and a hugeee smile...i walked outta the shop..

fcourse i was stupid enuf to remove the stud before it healed.. and then tried to push it thru again...but yea its all good now!

2007-01-06T07:35:00.000-08:00

we always take the ppl who r the closest to us for granted...friends..boyfriends..girlfriends...spouses..siblings..parents... parents mostly.. i didnt realise how much until someone pointed out little things..like how my mom waits patiently for me when i try out jeans after jeans after jeans and end up not buying anything..or how she prepares stuff I really like to eat everyday..and how i reply with a "Oh this???"..or how my boyfriend listens to me crib and yell and I ultimately realise Ive made a fool of myself..or how my friend puts up with a whole lotta nonsense..or how my bro gives in to my tantrums...hmmmmmmmmmm I am defnly not the sentimental type...but today,,,i am thinking..its payback time..like someone else told me...i NEED to be nice and let them know they are appreciated....

well apart from tht.. we went on a trip to calcutta from work...pretty nice:)..had good fun...won some money after coming runner up at a Badminton tournament:)...Yay!

2006-11-27T06:58:00.000-08:00

lifee suxxxxxxx....in bits and pieces tht is:)...cant really decide wat i think of them after i am done with the "bad" phase..all this talk of "remembering only the good" might work well in the long run...but u do end up feeling lousy for the next few days atleast!

read "A curious incident of the dog in a night time"....nice book...funny how children can sometimes be more adult tht adults:)...hav also got "fragile things" by neil gaiman and katha...which is a collection of indian short stories..translated from different regional languages into english......have to start reading those...

watched DON..now i am a hugeeee SRK fan and i liked the movie not only because of tht but also bcos i thot it was pretty cool.....i dont remember the old DON though...wanna watch tht sometime:)....

wanna watch casino royale...surprised tht craig turned out to be a good bond...kinda didnt like him when i saw him at first...

wanna watch dhoom 2 - tho i heard it suked...

its my bdayyyy on saturdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...gotta t shirt tht says "Devil at work":)

2006-10-05T23:37:00.000-07:00

wow this is soo lonngg!!..funny tht i stopped blogging actually coz i was really not busy...:)...and yes i must confess..hopefully no ones appalled..but ive been bitted by the orkut bug!!..yes i know its like "cover your mouth trying not to suppress a scream" kinda thing but its ok...its actualyl fun coz ive gotten in touch with ppl from midle earth it seems! and yes some of my fellow bloggers r there as well..if uve not done it yet...go for ittttt!!

The other day it rained like hell (it does rain in chennai too i knoww!)...and a frnd and i were on a bike at tht opportune moment.. it poured like nobodys business and one a huge main road theres not too much shelter except for trees..and as luck wud have it there were three hundred million other ppl...and we got soaking wet...normally i wudnt have minded tht ( and u can stop thinking of dirty things:P) but we had to get bak to work...and we reached office and were shivering...and all tht a colleague can think of saying to my frnd is "god ur clothes are u know wht"..luckily for me i was wearing not so transparent clothes and escaped all the leching:)...dunno when some men would start thinking with their brains...

show me some lite!!

2006-09-04T08:56:00.000-07:00

is it wrong to think wrong for someone? I mean wht if someone is mean and conniving and does stuff to hurt you and you say "no ill forgive u"....i know to forgive is divine...but we are only human rt? ...wat especially maddens me is tht (not saddens but maddens...i get more angry than hurt easily) we have known this person for so long and X has been trustworthy...or so we thot...how r u supposed to feel when this person has been cheating u rt from under ur nose? and at the end of it all instead of bashing X and kiking his/her ass all u do is "no u stay here and do ur job"?!! i eman gimme a break...the more i see X the more i wanna break X's neck...but wht the heck..."ur a girl" they say..crap!!...i wud love to beat the shit outta X!..

work sux...yup i know eones thinking "i know how tht feels"..but..i mean...low pay....low quality work...low quality superiors....and irritating crappy peers(some of them..actually most of them)...thts the pits!is it true tht when "goodness" or "badness" strikes it does so in like a series of events??...i mean fine i get the pic but show me some lite baby!!

2006-07-28T04:59:00.000-07:00

this is Chapter 3:

Chapter two in SJ's blog....www.jsridhar.blogspot.com..sorry i didnt go thru the trouble of linking it properly..but i can tell u its worth every bit of trouble:)..

WARNING: What you are about to read might not really be "nice" to you. Be warned!..I have ingenously decided to combine all genres of the scifi/horror/romance/porn/feel good versions so painstakingly put forth by SJ.

Something told me not to appear to inquisitve...What the hell..why would I listen to "Something"?..The man who had taken samples of the leaves was missing all of a sudden.I tried looking all around and found him lying on the ground, clutching his face. Something strange was happening. His face had started deteriorating , the skin had started peeling off..Strangely , no one seemed to notice.Had humanness really left this world for good? Strange thoughts started coming to my head. I was probably the only human being around? Was everyone turning into mechanically controlled devices?How could i save myself?........

Anyways, putting aside such thoughts i now turned to look at the plant. The scientist and Government agent looking men were not to be seen. Soon the only people around were the deteriorating man, a couple of passers by and myself. The flesh on his face was now falling fall and smelling putrid, like it had been burnt. At the very instant that the flesh started falling off, the plant started to go into the manhole. The plant was finally outta sight and the deteriorating man had been reduced to a pile of flesh and bones. I decided to go into the manhole.....

I slowly descended into the manhole....*plop*..tht was the sound of my lucky bracelet falling into the sewage below. I thought to myself that I shud, at tht moment, retreat. Despite my reluctance, I felt a strange force that almost propelled me into the man hole. Soon, images started flashing in my head...a penguin walking by...a live dummy...the plant....the flesh ...the Government agents....it was pure torture..I wanted to make all the images go away and pretend it was all a dream........

I must have been walking for around half an hour, All of a sudden,the sewage and the dirt was not there anymore. Instead, I found myself in an enclosure. A small door led me to a room where i found thousands of such plants. Wat had i stumbled upon? I really wished i were dreaming now..but what I was about to witness game me such a jolt, that even the worst nightmare would not have prepared me for it...

A huge door was right ahead of me. Intuition told me not to open it. The same strange force that had propelled me into this manhole made me open the door. I lost count of the number of hours that I had been in this place. I really wanted to have a nice hot pizza with loads of cheese.

I approached the door and touched the door knob. Almost as if it wanted me to open it, the door swung open....I could not belive my eyes when i saw what I saw...There were 10 people that looked like me!!....Had i been cloned? Was I the only one? Was I even me or a clone of me? Who was doing this? What did the plant have to do with this?.......................

Ok SJ Chapter 3 done!!...You can decide who has to do Chapter 4...or actually it would be good fun if X Dell did it coz he wud atkeast do a good job of it:)...Wud also like Arpita/Yogi/Iyer to do it.....SO guys pls be good sports and do so!!..

Looking into the future...

2006-07-17T23:12:00.000-07:00

looking into the future...is tht really possible? astrology as a science has existed from time immemorial..atleast in India it is still widely practiced and most ppl wud still believe in matching horoscopes before they get married to each other. I, for instance am not quite sure whether i shud believe in it or not. There have been moments when i think its true and moments when I think otherwise.yup, maybe I am a hypocrite but when someone predicts a "good" future I take it to be true, and when there is a bad phase etc etc I pooh pooh it.

Now, in astrology, the "horoscope" is drawn up based on the birth timing and location of birth of a person. Obviously it is done based on certain calculations. How then do these predictions fail at times? Is it that astrology is a farce or tht the person doing these predictions doesnt know how to actually do it in a right way? There are some religions tht even state that trying to predict the future is a sin. yet, we have instances of predictions being made in almost all religions. Hinduism no doubt is filled with predictions, premonitions et all. Predictions relating to the birth of Jesus Christ, the end of the world have been made in Christianity.

Then there are differences in the kind of predictions that are made. For instance, the moon sign is followed in India whereas Western astology more often uses the sun signs. I have, like many others, read and re-read Linda Goodman's sun signs. There were times when Ive actually thot tht "oh ok I am a saggi which means that this is how I shud be", which is actually nonsense. Every individual has his/her own ways and you cannot generalise the whole of the world into 12 kinds of people or 24/36, if you include the cusps.

The most interesting of these all is the "naadi joshyam". Now this is almost unbelivable. You go to a place where the "olais (leaves)” are kept. The guys who di it take your thumb impression, look through the olais and get a bunch of them which belong to people born on the same day and time as you. Then they ask you questions to which you are supposed to answer with a yes or a no and finally they narrow down to what is your olai. And with that they actually read out what you are, what you do, about your family, future , past life etc etc. The stuff on the olais were apparently written long , long ago by the sages. This means that anyone, anywhere in the world go and check out their olai, if they can find it. Couple of places you can find your olai are in vaideeshwaran temple, Tambaram, etc. Even if you don’t believe in it, you can actually check it out coz its worth the experience!

P.S. - just for some time pass,, would appreciate if eone mentions their sunsigns while commenting!..just in spirit with this post:)

P.P.S : the blog banning is crappy!...to think that the Government can actually stoop to such levels is actually getting to be funny. Wonder wht they r trying to achieve.

nobody loves me...everbody hates me,,,

2006-07-07T03:43:00.000-07:00

Seen that kid who wears glasses , and is typecast a nerd, teased by everyone around? The fat kid in the corner who wants to play but is not allowed to by the others?The girl who does not wear hep clothes and is the butt of jokes...i think think of many more in this list..its sad tht people who are not "in" the crowd are made fun off...luckily, even though i was wuite nerdy and i did wear glasses, i wasnt set aside at school..whtdyou say abt a person who is sooooo stupid,who says the most foolish things at the most inappropriate times, who everyone from age 2 to age 202 wud consider dumb...is it wrong when u make fun of such a person? some times i do feel sorry for X...and everytime i feel sorry...i really feel sorry for feeling sorry!
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was watching rockstar supernova last nt...think dilana rocks!!!...the woman has got some talent!

2006-06-28T00:09:00.000-07:00

Woohooooo new layout…… courtesy reflextions (takes a bow)…see all the publicity am giving ya!!…its been raining ..which is a respite to us ppl who have slave it out in the sun….well not really but its nice to crib and overact:P

I have been hooked onto this computer game for wat seems like months now!..I mean its not like the best game in the world but I cant get enuf of it…obv I haven’t bought it…..just dloading the free software …didn’t realize tht u can only do it once on a comp…does neone know if there is a way out???plssssssss help…this is an SOS call!!

I hate this generalization disease tht ppl have…

does everything have to be a particular way?

Cant a girl like something remotely “masculine”?..

cant a guy wear pink?

Is it abnormal for a woman to not like babies??

Cant a person working in a Government office be righteous?

Don’t good deeds pay?

Does a man always have to make the first move?

If something gets stolen why shud the poorest of the lot be blamed for it?

Why is it wrong if a woman smokes and drinks?(not advocating it ..just saying it coz atleast in most places in India..its more frowned upon)

These are just some of the things I have been coming across in the past weeks…who decides them neways? and why do we need to follow them? Agreed that there has to be a certain set pattern and discipline, else ething will be haphazard…but why cant we just let things be and accept them as they are?

I really wonder if the Blog title matters tht much.......

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was listening to the radio yday and there was a poll on whether, in a song, the lyrics matter or the music matters more...lyrics won hands down...but i really wonder...even if the lyrics in a song are crappy...good music can make u wanna listen to it...but i doubt if it wud work the other way round...i mean as u keep listening to a song.. the lyrics make an impression on u...but i just thot ppl were plain bluffing...just look at all the hit songs and we know!!

Seven....

2006-06-20T06:23:00.000-07:00

Finally….the exams are over …watta week tht was man…I will put it down as one of the most eventful “happenings” in my life…Am warning you..u mite not find it really interesting,,,but I am sharing it neways:P..

Day 1 – landed at the hostel and was supposed to share a room with a girl I has made friends with the last time….now the distance tht u have to walk from the gate, to the rooms, to the library, to the canteen is quite a lot…especially if ur not the “I am a health freak “ types… so I had to walk up and down nearly five times (ten both ways) to find out accommodation status….and finally given my problem solving skills, I chose to take up a room….and watta room it was….there were three beds. And it was the most funnily shaped rooms ever…with one bed in every corner tht was jutting out…looked like some devil with three horns…and the walls and the floor were so dirty…like someone had scratched the paint of the walls …and there was black stuff all over…enuf to depress u..

And if u refer to my previous post abt how scared I am abt staying alone…well here it comes…scribblez I must thank u for ur post abt how u shud learn to overcome ur fears…but this way!!!…I hadn’t imagined it…so the next day the woman who was sharing her room with me left./..and I had to stay alone…now during the day its ok…but in the nite??when u look out of the windows all u see are huge trees and shadows…u can hear dogs howling, and the whistles of the watchman walking around with a lathi..and the occasional giggle of a few girls walking by…now thts a pretty scary combo to me!…and yes…bravo for moi but I did manage to sleep alone in tht shady room…after repeated attempts at trying to get a frnd to sleep with me (not tht way)….i cudnt succeed… she refused to set foot into my dirty room..(now it was still my room so I cant obv not call it mine)oh and there were these tiny mosquito like insects tht kept biting u if u didn have the fan on.. but u wud get really cold if u did switch it on….so…pretty painful…

Neways exams went on ok…felt a lil lonely initially but it started to be good fun…now the second exam is like on and I have an irritation in my eye which seems to get worse and my eye turns red….see brilliant me think there is a speck on my contact lens and I rub it even more….and I see this teeny tiny lil hole…so obv eone around asks me not be be stupid and wear my glasses…” no one is gonna marry u here”…is the retort I get when I say I look silly in glasses…(I was quite expectin to hear…no u don’t look silly…but nevamind.. beggars cant be choosers)

So nerdy me wearing glasses starts wrting my exams the next day…and I have this brilliant head ache tht doesn’t seem to go….and the next day I have an amazing stomach ache which also refuses to leave me….so by now I am pretty much irritated and cursing my luk…

The piece de resistance is to follow…the day of my last exam…I am explaining some crap to someone…and I dunno what happens…my glasses fall…and yup there is a nice crack on the left lens…so I write my exam trying to look thru the crack…and eone asking me” why did u break ur glasses?”…yea rt like I wud do tht so I can just suffer a bit more!…and I also go to my viva with them….even I found myself funny to look at when I saw myself in the mirror…but thts besides the point…by the end of it..i had ppl telling me they wanted to borrow my glasses cos they were my sympathy gear and wud help in the viva…

Neways I did feel kinda sad leaving the place..inspite of the happenings….now I can laugh abt it…and think of the nites that we sat and studied outside the hostels under the lites…getting drenched in the rain and acting like fools…gorging hungrily on yuky mess food….downing it with iced tea…..sigh……

p.s…as an afterthought…I neva neva wanna repeat wat happned then inspite of the fun!…

So Long....(No double entendres silly!)

2006-06-07T08:50:00.001-07:00

meez gonna be away for a long time:(...exams next week so will be bak after tht...and on tht sorrowful note (ok for me it is:P)just thought i'd write abt lil bits of things.

Firstly i am Mad....not mad as in mental or even the My adorable Darling kinda mad but the angry, fuming, irritated wateva mad....i am writing an exam in June 2006..and the Institute of repute, which is supposed to the best of its kind has material dated ten yrs bak...Is this because this does not happen to be a regular course?On the outside e'one (including me) thinks tht this univ roks and tht u have to get in somehow...and when u do get in...this???So when ur a person who is working and depends on Institute material which is supposed to be reliable, wht dyou do? wats worse is u need to write stuff on this outdated material and submit it!!...This is something u wud totallllyyy not expect!!!....neways now tht i'm in the course, mite as well complete it and earn my degree!...guess this attitude is wht is causing this nonsense...ppbly if someone as angry as me had taken this up the situation cudve changed....hmmm food for thot...

I happened to read in some magazine, a statement made by J Lo...somethign to the effect of "Women are meant to slaves of men because we are owned by them" or some such!....I mean wht kind of a retarded statement (if she had in fact made it) is tht!!!...Now I am not a feminist types...I belive in equality and tht ppl, regardless of whether they be male or female, shud be treated in a just manner. But this is too much!!I was sik in the stomach for a while...(soon realsied it was because of the entire pack of biscuits i had eaten:P)

Was looking at this neighbour kid who was happily playing cricket with her bro..having a happy -go-lucky time while here i was studying:(....damn!!

Just discovered that there are nice ppl in this world...who do things and dont expect nethign in return...something to learn...i know this totally contradicts my previous post...but hey..PMS can do stuff to ur head!:P....

neways neone commenting...wish me all the best...not best of luck but all the best!!

Booooooooooooooooooooo!

2006-06-01T05:23:00.000-07:00

Fear … No matter what a person says about him/her being fearless, I think all of us have our little fears… Fear of heights, closed spaces, empty spaces……fear of losing someone…cockroaches, lizards…God…the list is endless…

I must confess. I am scared of the DARK…I really am!...I mean when I was a little kid I remember watching padhimunaam number veedu (translated into House number 13)…and there was this lame ghost in a white sari thingy…and I was scared of walking to the kitchen to get water…The I thought “OK I’m little so I can be scared of the dark..not a bad thing”…but no!...its just not leaving me!...even now I watch a lot of horror movies…really scary ones…some stupid ones.. I mean how many ppl wudve watched the Grudge and gotten scared??? Well no points for guessing…I am one of them…I just have a very wild imagination so later on when I think abt it I let my imagination run wild….ok enuf said abt tht….I also have this vague fear of swings inside the house..and ppl playing with these rubber balls… You know these long wooden swings tht u can find in most Tam-brahm houses…I get this feeling that as I swing higher and higher its gonna crack and hit all walls…the same with playing….its just very weird..maybe there is some “previous birth” thing..hehe…

I really wanted to write abt voodoo , black magic and stuff…coz I just heard abt some incidents that occurred in Kerala…pretty scary when u hear abt the stuff they can do…ghosts, spirits, charms, the works…neways with my xams coming up I havent had too much time to research on tht….

Will be interesting to know abt the fears other ppl have,..tht way I will consider myself to be sane…as yet

P.S….i guess this sounds like a lame-ass post written for the heck of writing…and no harjee this is not because u asked me too..i mean not ONLY because u asked me too…just been wanting to blog abt this for a looongg time…so theree…

She

2006-05-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

She wants to escape into the empty space,
Far away from the madding crowd.
Someone tells her, "you will get better, its just a phase",
Yeah right, what do they know, of those tortorous days
When she cries to herself, there is no shoulder to lean on,
Someone comforts her, before the warmth sinks in, he is gone.

She performs her tasks, "thats why you were born", says her friend,
Is that how its supposed to be? All you do is to lend
yourself to others in need, your love you give, and in the end;
she cant go on, she is tired and weary, her heart forlorn.

She wants to escape into the empty space
Far away from the madding crowd,
Someone tells her," its your life, you make the choices,
Be happy,dont fret, dont listen around to the voices"

Now she is happy, smiling and content,
"Whats the secret"? asks someone,
She smiles ,and says, "I dont give as much, I am having fun,
I have learnt to be clever and selfish , my life has just begun.

Ok i wrote this one when i was in a particularly depressed and not so great mood!!...I dont even know what i really wanted to say...neways...

Blog for a reason...

2006-05-15T23:20:00.000-07:00

saw kal ho na ho last nite...again...i know it mite not be the greatest movie...and i am not the kind that gets easily moved by nething...but i dunno why i get so depressed after watching this one...and continue watching it!!!...something like inflicting pain on oneself and u derive this strange satisfaction...hehe...

was just wondering...why do u blog??i mean some ppl blog to have it as a personal diary...these are the " I will write in detail about ething that happened today" bloggers.

Then u have the ones that take up one particular issue, which mite not really be controversial but by the end of blime* (which is blog time - the time that is allowed for others to comment) it snowballs into this huge disastrous thing.
* - sorry i just liked the sound of blime...so xcusez...

You also have blogs that are funny...every incident is made out to be straight out of a "friends" or a "seinfeld"..these are the time pass blogs...

You have blogs that basically are very vague... and are just bits and pieces of everything or nothing....

You have some blogs that are plain boring (no offense)...then there are others that are a mix of all of the above..

Then there are blogs that talk about other blogs...like mine:)....

well the point being...no matter what kind of blogger a person is...evryone.....no matter what he or she says...everyoneee wants someone to comment on their blog..I know some ppl mite say that they blog for themselves and dont care if its popular or not...would neone actually blog on the net and hope that no one would read it?

Ok i shud probably rephrase the "everyone wants someone to comment on their blog" to "everyone would rather that someone commented on their blog to not having comments at all" ....well this is probably just my observation of bloggers around me and ppl i know....i cud be wrong...there cud ppbly be a Howard Roark in blogdom...

of Planning...kids...pills..

2006-05-10T06:29:00.000-07:00

this blog is really about nuthing great..but yea its something that affects all of us at some point of time...

Planning...yea some of u dont really wanna do tht...i am totally disorganised..impatient and think on the spur of the moment..and do impulsive stuff.. I guess all of take on the spur decisions. But here I am talking of some really important stuff..

A friend of mine got married recently..2 months ago to be precise. She got married very early...at 22..and guess what like most men her husband refsued to wear a condom!!..now what i mean by most men here is a relative term...this is an opinion based on what i have heard...and this foolish woman did not take a pill!..I mean when u know u are young and not ready,,mentally and financially ..arent u supposed to be xtra careful?

and so the inevitable happened..like duh...and she was so freaked out...I had a good mind to wack her ass (not in thattt way dirty minds!)..but being the good friend I am...i gave her moral support. I know i started off with planning...but yea it goes on to deeper stuff (pun totally unintended)..She did what anyone in her situation would do...have an abortion..now i know many of us think abortion is a crime...is it??I am really not going into the "goodness" or the "badness" of abortion...But what do u do when u have an unwanted pregnancy...ok lets forget this case..or a case of accidental pregnancy due to say unprotected sex or failure of contraceptives...what about rape??should a woman be forced to go ahead with it when the very act so disgusting??would u actually force someone to remind themselves of something that happened because of some sexually driven asshole?

neways not deviating from the topic....she did what she did...and lets say she is more at peace..

I have been getting pissed off at work. People taking off so often..I take off ..I leave early...but thats very rare...now who is right or wrong?? Can i say i am right because i dont do it often while they arent because they take things for granted??? Dont things called moral values and ethics exist??and who decides what the standards are?? So if i have no work while ai work and i play computer games am i against work ethics?? and why the #$%^ shouold i bother whether a colleague takes an off or not??

Ok i know i started with "This blog is about blah blah" and totally went way off...But yeah the point i wanted to make was that morals and ethics and manners and ething else that is in that same family, exist in every thing that we do.. like i give lectures about how cleanliness begins at home...and just the other day i was in a hurry, and i tossed a banana peel near the dusbin..not into...coz i was in a hurry, or so I'd like to think..(yes i am ashamed...but i also came bak home and ate two more bananas and threw both peels into a dustbin just to make me happy)

Lots of stuff running in my head and i am just not able to articulate my thoughts.....right now i feel like writing a poem that goes like:

I am happy yes thats me
My minds messed up cant you see
I cant think, i cant blog
My brain is busted, yes its clog(ed) ........

ok maybe thts not really a poem...but i assure u i am mentally stable....yet...

the return of the.... well post that ive been wanting to blog about!!

2006-05-02T03:13:00.000-07:00

man its been almost 10 million years since i actually wanted to blog about what i wanted to blog about but could'nt because the f%%&*^ing page just vanished into the bad side of blogdom... neways this is wht i wanted to say..

couple of days (make that a million) ago...we were sitting around our lunch table at office..eating fcourse mah dahlings... and this colleague remarked that in most of the divorce cases that come up in the family courts, it is the woman who is the cause of it..... and what followed after that caused an extension of our lunch break by a one an a half hours..

This sparked off a debate about how women today are more independent and thus more arrogant. In the words of one of the guys ‘ they have let it get to their heads and they think that they can do whatever they wanna”. I mean gimme a break…these guys around me are ‘educated’ lawyers and such narrow mindedness is awesomely funny and ‘ u make me wanna punch ur eyes out’ angry!. According to this survey (it was published in the Hindu,,, Ive been trying to locate it but cudnt) these women are becoming intolerant and at the slightest problem, walk out of the marriage, and the poor men are left wanting. They also said that the man tries to keep the relationship intact, which the heartless woman says FO and walks away from…

I mean agreed that u cannot walk out of a marriage without giving it a worthwhile shot and trying to work things out…but if it does become so bad that u cant do crap…why stay in it?? Is that wht ‘culture’ is all about? Until now the woman was slogging her ass off and working and bearing with all the nonsense .. and now when she does have an outlet…when she can have her independence..why not?? Another colleague said something like the situation has changed now and men and women are now going out into the world and scaling new heights…and the man’s ego is not able to take this ‘sudden’ emancipation…and thus questions her actions…so when the woman gets angry at that…and they cant reconcile…she walks out. The same crap about how the man (in a particular case he was handling) tried his best to keep the marriage but could not, and that the woman , who was a software engineer and was earning a lot…and because of her ‘thimir’ (arrogance), asked for a divorce.

My personal opinion is that no one can and should judge the person sitting across the table. If a man does not have the balls to take in the fact that a woman can survive,,, he should ..well learn to accept that in due course of time… Lets face it..probably the man did not want to let his wife walk away because of the social stigma attached to it…or because he just needed some one who would cook, clean etc for him (am not saying thts always the case…I know men who are very broad – minded)..

Neways I don’t quite remember how the argument ended… considering it happened that long ago.Ok I’ll stop cribbing about the vanishing post mishap…

P.s. all comments and opinions on this blog are..well mine…so if u have a problem with it…comment!!

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2006-04-27T02:54:00.000-07:00

what the !@#$%^&*)*(&(()*(() i types out an entire post....and now its gone!!! actually i forgot to save it...am so pissed i wanna break the comp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pearls of Wisdom!!

2006-04-21T00:08:00.000-07:00

hey i ripped this from a fellow blogger...these stories are so damn cool...or atleast i thout so!so go ahead and ensoi:)

THE PRETTY LADY
Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river. The big monk offered to carry the pretty lady across the river on his back. The lady accepted.

The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk."How can big disciple brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?" thought the little monk. But he kept quiet.

The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her. All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about the big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation.

Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. "How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite."

The big monk looked surprised and said, "I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?"

[This very old Chinese zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away. We keep on carrying the baggage of the "pretty lady" with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the "pretty lady". We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river, immediately after the unpleasant event is over. This will immediately remove all our agonies. There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over. It is just that simple.]

=====================================

THE FROGS
A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, "There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs ---millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!" So the restaurant Owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.

The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, "Well... where are all the frogs?" The farmer said, "I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!"

[Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.]

===================================

THE TURTLES
A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. Turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place for their outing. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last! For about six months they cleaned up the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements.

Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell.

He agreed to go on one condition: that no one should eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left. Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years... six years... then n the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, "SEE! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt."

P.S. Ms Fresh Reads...do not kill me for ripping this off...and if u r offended...please accept my apologies!!..

Neways this political thing is driving me mad.Lok partitran is not actively campaigning. There are mails and sms's but how would the lot of the people who actually do the voting, i.e., the so called lower class get to know?In fact if there are a couple of educated people(good looking would be a bonus!) they shud be able to do good campaigning and get some publicity.

I am really not reading anymore these days...its work/home/study/work/study/home/go out with friends/work/work/frnds with their permutations and combinations. I shud really really really get bak to reading...

bits and pieces

2006-04-18T11:33:00.000-07:00

its 12:02 a.m. and I am almost falling off on my keyboard....i just dont feel like going to sleep tho. you know one of those days when u have to really really study but ur not really into it and wanna sleep...but at some level ur scared and so u cant sleep..

I have crappy projects and modules to be submitted..wonder why . to gain knowledge yes, but i find it preposterous that a well renowned university that boasts of being the rajnikanth of law schools in India has study material that is dated 1995/1996, and the worst part is that we need to write and submit answers based on outdated stuff, which means that this whole exercise is pointless because you need to study somethign thats totally different before the exams!!..I even mailed the coordinator and simply got a reply " yea u need to stick to the modules for submission of answers as it will facilitate evaluation" Gimme a break thats a whole lotta @#$%^&****!!!..I guess this is just a small drop in the ocean. There are so many crazy things happening around and we do it simply because we need to do it/someone has done it/we'll get brownie points for doing it...no questioning ....why this lack of apathy?!
The other day I was travellin down nelson manickam road which happens to be one of the arterial roads in Chennai and also heavily crowded most times. There were these big minivans(an oxymoron!!hehe) which were blowing their horns like mad...and we saw some "white veshti and chattai" men on the road trying to stop traffic, asking us to park aside and let them go..because they are some god forsaken politicians/supporters wateva going on a campaign!...

Went to Bangalore this weekend to spend time with sis...and realised..nothing like good ol chennai no matter wht!

ciming bak to politics..wondering whts with Lok paritran...hope they dont fizz doesnt go off even before the bottle is popped!...i guess they shud do more active propanganda so more ppl get to know..atleast they seem like an interesting idea...wht say!

neways eyes in final stage of closing...guess i shud move unless i wanna wake up to my screen!

Why dont I remember?

2006-04-07T02:46:00.000-07:00

i woke up this morning and was thinking about what P said...he blogs pretty regularly...and spends quite some thought on it..neways so I had this whole list of things I wanted to blog about.

Here i am sitting in front of my machine..just got back from a seminar whichw as pretty informative.Coming back to the point I am totally at a loss as to what I wanna blog about..I dont remember a thing of what I had thought of..maybe its the chennai sun..it zaps your brain,saps your energy,sucks your enthusiasm and basically kills your thought process.

just thinking about this astrology thing..well there are sceptics and there arent. I'm not too sure in which category I fit in...if its good then i think that its true and if the predictions are not then its humbug. It is actually a pretty calculated mehtod of prediction..looking at the planetary alignments and all that..and there is a pattern of events that are bound to happen.guess people who really know how to do it will be able to predict but we will never get to know whats trueand whats not...so its best to leave things to happen and take things as they come..

anyways am in one fuk all mood rt now...dunno y...wanna do some extreme sports like ride a bike off a cliff or jump off a plane or something.

Life is beautiful

2006-04-03T01:25:00.000-07:00

so many things have happened over the past few months. I just had an appraisal ..if you can call it that!!...I mean its so low that I would have to bend twice over and still find that its buried so deep underneath.Pretty disappointed but I spoke to sis and she asked me to take a breather and not act rash.She knows me pretty well I must say.. normally if somethign pisses me off i act like the mother of all hurricanes and spit fire on anything that comes within a 5 km radius (do hurricanes spit fire..dont remember) and then calm down...gives me release of tension.maybe i shudve been a steam engine or a pressure cooker..like right now...I mean am at work....and everyone....everyone makes fun of me..in the sense I am the target like 79 times out of 100, and yet i dont complain. Am told its people's way of expressing their love though personally i wud prefer chocolates, books, cd,s etc...am kinda used to it and i must admit that if I am not picked on or am not in the lime light I get morose...hehe...neways so I am at lunch and I make fun of this guy...he got so pissed that he yelled at me and asked me to stop..saying it was getting too much....I was zapped.;...I mean why does it have to be different when I make fun of someone....wht the fuck............................................................................................so pissed that i was like almost growing horns....O calmed me down...and she told me that just tell him sorry...and next time if he does nething to chew his head off....waiting for next time:)

went out with P on satuday...had a great time:)...went to a mall..and looked at sexy shoes... I mean am not exactly the "high heeled type".. fall and trip even on flats...so y risk the heels..neways they were so amazing...sexy flats....wedges...and these shoes which were a combo between a pair of sneakers and floaters...damn neat and sportyy.. also saw sexy gym wear adididas..whcih really made me wanna gym....which reminds me I need to join again.....something ive been cointemplating for months now....

also trying to complete my modules and projects for the forthcoming exam....arrrgghhhhh its killing.....need to ask for study leave etc etc////gawd nose

meways guess life is aweosme inspite of all this....i guess...

dont wanna miss a thing

2006-03-16T03:23:00.000-08:00

blogging after a veryyy long time:).....things have been happening..obviously:)mom had a fracture...is ok now...had good fun at work..then it went into some rought times...ok now again.. all of us went to the beach and played frisbee last saturday./..

coming bak to work...there is this person A...who both me and this other friend i have recently made at work ....(called O)...sort of eye:P..its just for time pass obviously...He is not cute or wateva..but its just a generall "o theres no one else so lets do this" kind of a thing:P..

I just discovered something....love:)...haha yea i know...the same person who had yelled and screamed that there was nothing calld love in this world now doing a flip......but yea i truly believe that i can never get neone more loving and cute and funny and stupid and sexy and manly and sensitive all rolled into one...hope this is the start to ething thats amazing..not like it hasnt been so till now..

somehting else thats weird..dunno how ppl who seem alrt..and sweet and are committed can actually flirt like mad!!...neways...

confessions of a dangerous(?) mind

2005-12-30T00:44:00.000-08:00

Long time no see!!...Well so many things have happened that i hardly remember some stuff!...I guess life is like that...if u dont bohter about it and think about things too much.. you harly notice later on...the more u think about something...the more u wanna do it.....sucks....

My relationship thingy is getting mad...i dont think i can have one neways...so whats the big deal??enjoy wats there rite now..and say yea nice meeting u?? or try and convince myself and the other person that this is the thing...the one u were waiting for all along?? is it that things happen only the way they are meant to inspite of what ever you do? or does man really have the power to change the course of things(which again comes to the fact that he was supposed to change it which in the first place was what was meant to happen?)

dont think neone can understand or make sense of wht i am saying....neways..going to sister's place for new years so hopefully i have fun...

an interesting quiz or so i think....

Your Monster Profile

Behemoth Killer

You Feast On: Hot Dogs

You Lurk Around In: Flocks of Freshmen

You Especially Like to Torment: Your Evil Twin

What's Your Monster Name?

and this one.....;):P

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity

You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off

And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave

When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

2005-12-16T02:58:00.000-08:00

work is cool...going on....just realised a lot of things..how some people you think are close to u do things that u wudnt expect them to..

over the years i have met a lot of people...some were good to talk to...some fun to hang out with and spend some time...some became great friends... and some are just awesome.....and then u meet someone u dont know which cateory to put into...thts when u know they r perfect... no matter wht they mite actually be...

met this girl here..at work...pretty swett...bought me a watch for my bday...thot thts a really nice thing for somoene i know for like two weeks....

Liked this pic..thot its pretty interesting....like a person who is bogged down by a lotta things...but at the back of her head she wants to break away and fly...

lalala

2005-12-03T07:16:00.000-08:00

Your Inner Child Is Happy

You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing.

You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes.

And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad.

You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to.

How Is Your Inner Child?

bday yday....was like one eventful day...there was mad rain,,,,dull, depressing and menacing skies....

the food at work was terrriiiblleeee...made a fool of myself....wanted to leave ear;ly so i cud meet my frnd but cudnt....

took an auto and he had to stop to buy brake oil and almost scraped a car...

finally reached and i had a good time...tho i think there was somnething wrong with my frnd...

....thot my ex wud not call me at nite but such a sweetie he is...he calld me at 2...i had slept by then tho...felt pretty bad..

not a very great day but somehow felt ok...had gone to the temple in the morning ...first time ive done tht on my bday...

spoke to my other frnd at nite...she was drunk....and dunno why but i felt very lonely at the end of it/////like the sadness just welled up/.././.

had a great day today at work though....laughed like a lot in sucha looonggg time!!!!

o yeau i also got a ear infection coz i had pirced two more holes in mny ear and i had a bandaged left ear....and amazingly the infection got to the rite ear as well yday...so i spent last nite without power and with an infected ear....neways....alls well tht ends well.....i had a good nites sleep!!!

2005-11-30T05:03:00.000-08:00

My mind is such a messed up space!!!...and I am so foolish...neways getting out of the "putting myself down" thingy....I have joined a Law firm,,,work here is good..atmosphere is a refreshing change form where i used to work...

I am sooooo into this thing....sooo into....I have no clue how i got into it...why i got into it...but i did...hope i get solution...instead of suddenly realising tht its quicksand

2005-11-28T08:05:00.000-08:00

To hell and back,,,,

had the worst days ..and nites..never felt worse...dunno...i still keep going bak...wanna go bak....dont know why i do wht i do...am i normal?

frnd came down ....met her...was good fun...

another frnd of mine got married....one more down...

am angry,sad,confused,depressed,shocked,clueless,disappointed,happy,,,

why dont things happen the way they r meant to..i guess just bcos i think they r meant to doesnt mean thats its meaqnt to...obv...coz thts why it doesnt happen,,,cos its not meant to...

i didnt understand wht i have typed exactly,,,but atleast i know wht i wanted to say

2005-11-21T21:09:00.000-08:00

I didnt know life had so many things to offer...didnt know life could be so amazingly wonderful one moment and crappily stupid the next...

frnd of mine gave me an advanced bday gift...he is mad!!....its a pretty expensive thingy....tho its aweosme...will go shopping for my bday now:))

had two kinda bad days....standing at crossroads...dunno wht to do...wat to decide...if i shud decide...or just let things...all i know is i want time to freeze...wish it were a book that i cud write the way i wanted i to be...to go on..i just know that i am sure of wht i want...how ill get it i dunno...am i good enough for it??i dunno...

will take up a job mostly...from tomorrow...something to look fwd to...

Hell

2005-11-10T01:36:00.000-08:00

ok week...ex came down...it was raining like crap and yeah he cribbed so much like india is full of shit and aust rules...wht the fukk...got me pisd enuf...

neways did meet up...caught a movie..hung out...was pretty sweet to me...

to hell with the world..hate u and all ur bloody fuking unfair ways and means...when ethings wrong...and the rites always turn into the wrongs...

bits and pieces...

2005-11-03T07:23:00.000-08:00

Weekend was good...sis n bro in law had come down...had good fun...went out...shopped much to the dosmay of my bro in law and bro....bought a earring...and an anklet...one of which i gave to my sis..so later on we can sing like it happens in films hehe..

went to this place calld anokhi...its an old house converted into a coffe and eating place..plus they sell some clothes and stuff...pretty nice....asked frnd of mine to come over and generally had a nice tim...with everyone pulling my leg,,,and my frnd joined in as well!!!...et tu brutus:)

monday was cool as well....went to the raintree,.sexy place the rooftop is....had a dink calld the graveyard...was almost high..had a martini after thar...was almost gone..stupid ass frnd came in...or some half an hour coz he had another place to go to....saw some brilliant fireworks as it was just the day before Diwali..Happy diwali by the way:)

diwali was ok..the usual waking up ..going outto temple and granmoms..i hate crackers..and we didnt burst too many..

Another frnd of mine is coming down from Australia...this tiime around there wont be any old feelings cropping up...no more so called "maybe this is love" crap...will just meet him and have a good time..

Yesterday was not too great...met my frnd...he said certain things coz he was upset...i didnt know how to take it...was upset.got bak home and broke down...but then realised that people say things they dont mean...tht doesnt make them less important or close..after all u take liberties only with your closest friends...

Another frnd of mine...is sick with herpes..shes damn bored sitting at home without anything to do..

no matter wht others say about absence making the heart grow fonder..i think an invisible wall crops up...its not that u dont tell the other person with an intention...it just happens that way coz the other person is not there when u need him/her...and when u meet after a long time...the love is still there..the feeling is still there..but its not the same...

tests

2005-11-02T08:31:00.000-08:00

You Are a Skin Deep Sweetheart

You may be supermodel gorgeous or a plain Jane.

It really doesn't matter, because you're confident and secure.

You don't go out looking like a slob, but you are low maintenance.

You have better things to worry about than whether your nails are the right shade!

Are You Obsessed With Your Looks?

just taking tests....

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Stronger

2005-10-26T07:35:00.000-07:00

Its been raining like hell....yea we do need the water...considering the problems u face...but one can crib forever...normal life gets disrupted..trafiic jams..water logging..water diseases...the dull grey sky...

I am getting bored at home....need to get a job and soon.. figured i just cant keep to myself.

When u see every smiling face...u know its a farce...a put on..everyone is hiding some deep dark misery ,,, deep down in their hearts....but then...u do need to smile...

everyone is moving on in their lives..people come and go...people change..another frnd of mine is gonna hit the roks...yea getting married..

I just realised that my belief and faith in the power above has doubled...no tripled...its amazing how the course of your life takes shape..its amazing how things happen....people happen...people dont happen....at the end of it...all u can do is look up and say thank you..for everything that happened or didnt happen..

Stronger...

That I ever thought that I could be, baby
I used to go with the flow
Didn’t really care ‘bout me
You might think that I can’t take it, but you’re wrong
‘Cause now I’m…

Stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My lonliness ain’t killing me no more
I’m stronger

Here I go, on my own
I don’t need nobody, better off alone
Here I go, on my own now
I don’t need nobody, not anybody
Here I go, alright, here I go

YEa yea i know what you r thinking....britney spears lyrics??!!! i know..her songs may be crappy...her voice may not be great...but theres something abt her...apart from the obvious:P..not that i like her songs...but these lyrics just fit in...i really am strong!!!er...

Burn

2005-10-25T09:35:00.000-07:00

You burn slowly, giving out light
Why do you do it?why burn out?
You spread warmth, the darkness you fight
You give your everything even in the face of doubt.

What do you get in return
There is no point, will you ever learn?
That when you are gone non one will care,
Only in need are you remembered, mon chere'

Just my depressing thoughts for the day...
felt like writing something....
feel like flying...
i feel like i wanna run up a mountain...
I feel like the wind...
I feel like i wanna cause pain...
I feel like i wanna have a puppy that gives so unconditonally...
I feel like i wanna go for a long walk across a lonely beach in the middle of the night with only the moon...mayhbe not even..
I feel like laughing so much still there are tears in my eyes and my stomach hurts..
I feel like being two all over again...
I feel like being in a magical world...the land of the faraway tree..
I feel like being lloved like no one has ever been loved and no one can...
I feel like crying till the last bit of sorrow leaves my heart, soul and body..
I feel like going around the world...
I feel like getting drenched in the rain and smelling the first showers on the soil..
I feel like watching a flower bloom...
I feel like being alone literally and mentally..
I feel like having no emotions so i dont get attached and i can live without..

Please dont say you love me
Coz my heart would break to know
You and me , we cant be,
So dont let it grow..

I want to go away
So i cant see or meet you
For it will kill me to know one day
That i was just a fool.

2005-10-24T09:05:00.000-07:00

...............!@#$%^&&**** This is the state of my mind now...funny how its full of crap and blank at the same moment.

bought sandals...two t shirts while waiting for my brother...

saw the skeleton key yesterday.... saaaaaaaaaad one...about voodoo and stuff and it was so lame..i mean it cudve been awesome..the concept of a woman protagonist,a mysterious looking house,mysterious kids or old persons...tht forms the basis of almost every horror movie...i mean the grudge, dark water,dunno how many more will spring up in the same formula...atleast if i were a guy i wudve ogled at kate hudson...had a good time anyways:)

Yesterday i realised certain things...this is not a personal diary so i cant exactly state wht i feel,,,dunno if neone has to know...tho i did tell someone and she feels the same way i do!

Nothing lasts forever,,,,
Even cold November Rain.
One of ghe sexiest songs of all time....chk this one out for facts on the song

Link

2005-10-21T23:37:00.000-07:00

Things never cease to amaze me... I mean yesterday all i..we wanted was some peace and quiet..well went out with mom...bought myself clothes....nice pants that fit well:))...and then went out with a friend..had awesome pizza...sounds perfect??..well kahani me twist...

we had just parked the car by the road side and were talking...and wat happens??a fukking cop pulls up and asks for a fine!!and India is a democratic country...in garfield's lingo...baah!

sometimes its like this...things happen ..and u dunno wht it means..is it worth it to question things?but then isnt there a purpose behind everything?isn tht how the cosmos works??all i know is tht it doesnt feel wrong..

I feel so good when im with this person...and i know its the same for the other person as well...i want us to be ...

Well someone once told me that you'd end up lonely
Dont let love ever pass you by
Coz I've seen it happen to people
that mattered to me with my very own eyes
Maybe they were mistaken
And I should be waiting, for you to show me a sign
Or should I just let you know that if I let you go,
Id wonder the rest of my life

To be or not to be, that is the question
I dont know what to do Im in a state of confusion
All I want from you is your love and affection
Is this love real or just an illusion?

A song by 2 Play Ft: Raghav & Jucxi,"So Confused"

asdftghjkl

2005-10-16T10:23:00.000-07:00

Suchan irony .. over the past few days wat i thot wasnt there seems like it mite be...I am so confused...i mean ...I know exactly at i want...but inspite of it...

i think i cant differentiate between good and bad people.. I just think most people are good...and thats a terrible thing...

I sometimes feel bad...coz things should . could ...would have been different..but wtf.. it cudve been worse..

I dunno how to react in certain situations...like this person i liked..thot we were still together...and asked me about it...which was very uncomfortable for me...i mean how am i to feel..??Am i mean...evil???a bad person??? dunno..

Had a great time today...went out...actually felt good in a long time... tho my friend thot i was quiet and something was wrong...

toota toota ek parinda

2005-10-12T03:22:00.000-07:00

Its Raining like mad outside...the sky is all grey and dark..not my favourite kinda sky..frnds tell me its romantc...but i find sunny and cheerful more romantic than grey and dul...its awesome when its chilly but theres a sun to warm you...makes u feel so nice...aaah!!

long time since ive blogged...time now for me to take some decisions..move on..hope i fare well..

sometimes people change...or maybe i have...

wat is love???

Toota Toota Ek Parinda Aise Toota
Ke Phir Jud Naa Paaya
Loota Loota Kisne Usko Aise Loota
Ke Phir Ud Naa Paaya
Girta Hua Woh Asma Se
Aakar Gira Zameen Par
Khwabon Mein Phir Bhi Badal Hi The
Woh Kehta Raha Magar
Ke Allah Ke Bande Hasde Allah Ke Bande
Allah Ke Bande Hasde Jo Bhi Ho Kal Phir Aayega
Allah Ke Bande Hasde Allah Ke Bande
Allah Ke Bande Hasde Jo Bhi Ho Kal Phir Aayega..

awesome song with such awesome lyrics

Sometimes everything is wrong...

2005-09-29T06:44:00.000-07:00

Its so weird....when u think that what u thought wasnt the truth..

the truth u neva thought about....

Life is sucha a funny thing...think Gods having fun out here...thinking as to what level of stupidity we can stoop to.

I had the most terrible day of my life...was in terrible pain..mentally and physically...i think that there ae certain things that are worth fussing over..its like i want to feel the pain...theres a sorta masochistic pleasure i derive out of it...Its like sometimes u wanna think of all the worst things that can happen..things that will neva ...except in ur own thots....nevertheless...

Theres a sort of satisfaction in thinking of all the negativity....and letting it all out...in whichver way...and the end of it all..its a cleansing experience.

When your day is long and the night,
The night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough
With this life,
Well hang on

Don't let yourself go,
'Couse everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along
When your days is night alone,
If you feel like letting go,
When you think you've had too much
Of this life,
Well hang on

Everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand
Oh, no
Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone,
No, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life,
The days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much
Of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts,
Sometimes everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes

Everybody hurts by REM....humming this song rt now..

Boreddddd

2005-09-28T07:25:00.000-07:00

Sorry...sorta ripped this off from a fellow blogger!!..But was a pretty interesting site..This is the specific link..

http://ynr.blogthings.com/howgirlieareyouquiz/outcome.php

and these are my test results...

You Are a Tomboy

You're having too much fun to bother with nail polish and crazy diets.

Guys are instead impressed by how much you know and do!

How Girlie Are You?

Why???

2005-09-26T05:41:00.000-07:00

Why…

So many questions…with no answers to them
So many thoughts in your head, seem to stem
Why don’t you have any clarity, why are you befuddled?
Guess everyone goes through this, the happy and the troubled.

You love only to go away
You meet only to never stay
You want a friend, that special someone
Only to realize that someone can never become.

You don’t own anyone, you can’t hold on
You must learn to accept that, so you don’t get torn
Life has its ways, it gives and it takes,
It can build relationships, feelings, emotions; the same it can break.

Optimism is a good thing they say
How do they know! Reality is gray
Though somewhere, sometime you must learn to laugh it off
Before your frailties look at you and scoff.

No one can help you with this, there is no end
Turn to yourself; you are your best friend.
You can do this, I have faith in you
For you are me and I am you.

A tale of friendship,mishaps,things that happen...

2005-09-26T00:29:00.000-07:00

Hey.. yesterday was a day full of happenings.. was to go for a movie with a friend...and had an accident....stupid guy hit the bumper and it had a huge dent...well managed to go to some place and get it tinkered..(on a God Forsaken Sunday afternoon!) was bloody scared..hoping it got ok...so happy my frnd was there. I owe him one!...the guy who hit me was ok tho...he offered to bear the cost...how many decent people dyou get??So didnt get tickets anyways...went out...then to the beach and flew a kite:)...was good fun..

sometimes things happen...and you dont know if was for the better or the worse...you just know that it was awesome ...

You and I must make a pact
We must bring salvation back
Where there is love
I'll be there

I'll reach out my hand to you
I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name
And i'll be there

And
I'll be there to comfort you
Build my world of dreams around
you
I'm so glad I found you yeah,
I'll be there with a love so
strong
I'll be your strength
You know i'll keep holdin on

Let me fill you heart with joy and
laughter
Togetherness, well it's all i'm
after
Just call my name
And i'll be there

I'll be there to protect
you,
With an unselfish love that
respects you
Just call my name
And i'll be there

If you should ever find someone
new
I know she better be good to you
'Cos if she doesen't, then i'll be
there

Don't you know baby, yeah yeah
I'll be there
I'll be there, yeah
Just call my name and i'll be
there

.....This is for you....the bestest friend ive had:)

Thanks for being so understanding and patient..and bearin with me after all thats happened..

The Reason.

2005-09-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

I would give you all i could..
I would wipe away your tears
I would do all to see you good
I would take away your fears

For you are my precious, you are my everything
I am yours, without you I am nothing..

You gave me a reason to live
You gave a me a reason to smile
You gave me a reason to cry
You gave me a reason

I am alive...again.....

Everythings gonna be fine fine fine

2005-09-21T08:15:00.000-07:00

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

Love the song..hand in my pocket by Alanis Morisette....her songs speak so much....like they are speaking out whats in my mind....

Wish upon that star

2005-09-20T22:13:00.000-07:00

had a good time at the gym..didnt feel too much pain today:)...

feel like theres a vacuum in my head...or heart..not able to place the exact location....

You aimed it straight at my heart..
boy was it bullseye!
Now I am torn apart
Feel no reason to be alive...

think am being stupid...frnds will vouch for tht!..i mean i thought i was more mature than that!.Get a grip woman....i guess im unworthy after all.....

Reading whtever ive blogged above sure makes me depressed...damn!!...am defnly gonna be more cheerful...i know!!..

downloaded Ich Will by Rammstein...cool song:)...has an eerie feel to it...makes u wanna be in hell..

2005-09-19T09:43:00.000-07:00

hey..had a good weekend...went to my frnds place..watehed a movie..my big fat greek wedding...got emotional(which is quite an event for me) thinking about lotsa things...like how i want thins to be and how they mght not...Fear of the Unknown...hmmm...damn it!!

went for dinner with my other frnd and cupla others,,,along with her fiance...was awesome...has american corn cheese balls for startes, veg and cheese quesilladas..(yeah me quite a foodie...and i loveeeee mexican....and italian..and lotsa other stuff:P)...and topped it off with a sizzling brownie...yummm..

had an awesome conversation wit a friend...it was we...uplifting:P...for him tht is.....hahah me in a cheeky mood rt now....

Feeling Fine

2005-09-17T21:50:00.000-07:00

Well...me in a better state now..than wht i was a coupla days ago..thanks to a certain frnd:)...anyways...i guess i have been very confusd.....

Every day is a winding road.....i get a little bit closer..
Every date is a faded sign...I get a little bit closer to feeling fine......

now monday is my target date to join the gym..this time i Shall do it no matter wht...

2005-09-15T06:41:00.000-07:00

hey second post for today...hmm...am in the a better state of mind now...can even talk to someone without biting their head off!!...wanted to go to the gym today...didnt happen..

such an irony that when u dont have time at all...u make time to do something u really wanna do...and when u have all the time in the world..it somehow its procastinated...

why do i neva get to do some things??/can i only dream about them...people will say...o its upto u..u can do it if u want to...but wat the hell..wat do they know...some things are not meant to happen to u,,,,i guess it will neva happen to me...

2005-09-15T01:00:00.000-07:00

daHDGSKAHFLSFJLAFLAJF;AKF;LAK.....this is my state of mind rt now...just attended my frnds engagement..was good fun..had a general nice time....the usual questions of...oh do u remeber me??/and when are u getting married???...like its the whole worlds business to get u married if u cross a certain age limit...

sometimes i wonder if i shud have such a stupid tongue...which has no mind of its own.,,,why i cant think and reason logically when it comes to me....why is it that when ur telling some other person..u talk such great things...and when it comes to u...u just refuse to see the whole picture..

whts the purpose of life???of living???just doing wat u do everyday....?isnt there some other purpose??are we all just machines programmed to do some shit everyday, day afer day??

rt now i feel like i am not me at all...i dunno wht i'm thinking...wht i'm feeling...is this something tht happens to all people? ...really hoping i can get bak to being me..thts much more fun...

Let me be

2005-09-14T08:32:00.000-07:00

Why cant people just let me be??why do they have to impose their thoughts , ideals, and wateva on me when i dont give a fuk?/???itz like this..if there area hundred people and if ninety think something is right..then it is...wateva happened to goddam freaking individuality?

m happy i have aweosme frnds...one i made quite recently...but its so weird coz is like i know this frnd for ever. engagement tomorrow...so am happy for her...even tho its early..but wth!!.Macaulay culkin got married when he as a kid!!

frnd of mine calld again...its funny coz he wanted to move away.and he did withdrew into his comfort zone...and now hes coming out..

am gettin into the quagmire...deep down..not like i want it...but its happening... feels good..but its me who is gonna drown in the end..

Love is sucha weird thing..happens when u least expect it..

am changing my template...so todays the last of u...orangie:)..well atleast for sometime

:))))))))))))))))))))))

2005-09-11T06:09:00.000-07:00

Was awesom today,,,went for veda class in the morning...yeah i do learn that though a lot of people think i should be old to turn spiritual..i think spirituality is about each person...I may not be totally devout and everything..but i think it is important to connect to the guy/girl above in some way...wateva seems ok to u...as long as ur not hurting anyone!..

went to this place to buy books...got the harry potter books...and before u think i am one of the potter maniacs...no i am not..just that the books are fun to read...makes u dream...makes u wanna do all the magic and everything....what an exciting place the world would be if there were wands and dragons and everything!!..

went over to my friends [place..yup the one who has come down...had a great time..went shopping..didnt buy anything(as usual)...watched friends..and got bak....

its funyy how people who talk so much are not able to talk when its required..when they cant tell people...its crazy....

Orange and Happy

2005-09-09T23:10:00.000-07:00

So this is it!!have finally plunged into the world of blogging!!...am amazed at the number of people who blog coz every user name i wanted was taken already!!..

just about finished typing one whole page and pfft!!...stupid connection conked off!!....guess it a jinx with all first times:).

feel all happy and orangy today..........dunno y?!

great friend of mine has come down today..will be meeting her today or tomorrow...spent time with her at the hostel ..was good fun...sneaked me in...and had a blast!i did get a bit sik tho...but somehow it dint bother me at all...

amazing how the mind can do things u want it to... tho sometimes u just dont want to tell it to do anything...like u wanna feel the pain...the sorrow...

saw the whole ten yards..god movie...crappy but funny..tho i didnt get to the the last scene which got stuck.

think my brother is damn sweet at times... i just told him his mobile cover is nice and he gave it to me..just like that.. its the little things that make the world go round...they make u forget all the fights and the misgivings.....